I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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