...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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