I wish I could teleport
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
