I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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