Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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