so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
