guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
