Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Farmville is her only friend.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
