thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
