Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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