Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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