Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
