I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
