I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
