She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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