"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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