Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your topless pictures make me question reality
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
