is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
