Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
