I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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