You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
