overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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