Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
