He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
