Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
