Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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