So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
