Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
