remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
