I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
