So drunk its hurt
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
