i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nicole vs. Life
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Randomize
