Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
