I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
