I wanna passion pit in your ass
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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