i would punch a child for taco bell
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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