Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The adults are the big ones right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
