I wanna passion pit in your ass
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
