Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
