i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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