whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
