I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
