I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize