I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
