We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
