We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
