I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
