something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
