So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Couch. On fire.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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