it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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