hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize