You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
