im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Randomize
