Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
40s are totally the cure
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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