a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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