Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
