THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
