I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
